Fear of Failure

    FEAR of FAILURE

      At an early age we were taught in our schools to avoid failure, a big red "F" after a test was the last thing any happy-go-lucky kid wanted to see.  To fail an exam meant we'd have to catch up and do extra work.  To be "left behind" and fail a grade would entail a whole 'nother year of the same thing.  I know that just the thought of such kept my head in the books long enough to make sure something like that never happened.  I can't truly say that I loved school, but I was sure as hell scared to have to do it again.
     The saying goes, "When you point a finger at some one else you're pointing three right back at yourself."  Since the Autumn of 2007, I took off on a personal journey of very deliberate goals.  The Universe had enlightened my path, and with it my purpose.  My new direction didn't come with any "directions."  Sure, I had many guides along the way who helped me make sense of it all, but nonetheless, just like everyone else, I was essentially on my own.  My tasks seemed insurmountable, and pretty much were, but that didn't stop me from trying.  There are many groups and organizations I could blame for what I perceive as the cause of our problems, but I've been wisely informed to avoid the victim-perpetrator-savior complex.  When we apply for a job we usually turn in a resume that displays and lists all of our accomplishments, instead I am going to create a resume of all my failures.  I share many of these failures with other brave and dedicated individuals.

I have not:

1. ended the wars in the Middle East, or removed all American troops from other countries.
2. established a permaculture institute in Northwest Florida, specifically coastal.
3. aided in the release of all non-violent prisoners, including probationary drug felons and specifically labeled drug "offenders."
4. mastered five languages, let alone two. 
5. facilitated in the peaceful and transitional legalization of alternative commodity currencies.
6. memorized native fauna and flora in their entirety.
7. stopped suburban sprawl in my hometown area, or assisted in the relocation of beach-side condominiums.
8. created a permaculture landscaping company focused on design and maintenance.
9. got out of my parents house and/or built my own home with my own hands.
10. developed a diet of mainly local fruits and vegetables accompanied with wild caught local game and fish.
11. totally manufactured an outfit from my own production.
12. halted the airport and roadside construction in exchange for more train/monorail/bike/walking construction. 
13. made a music video and/or album.
14. organized a music and art festival of local artisans.
15. shaped my own surfboard.
16. purchased an ARP (Accelerated Recovery Performance) machine and continued my practice as a technician.
17. completed a marathon.
18. assisted in the allowance and legalization of local spring water harvesting for drinking, or slown the exportation of our local seafood.
19. finished a newly designed workout routine. 
20. drafted a menu of local cuisine for a restaurant.
21. filmed a movie highlighting our natural biodiversity.
22. written a book.
23. directed a surf montage. 
24. setup a booth at our local farmers' market. 
25. integrated an alternative media in the form of a newspaper and youtube channel.  
26. fasted.
27. retreated in silence for an extended time. 
28. spoken completely in an E-prime fashion.